so my last post was what feels like years ago.
I forgot my login details and stopped writing but i finally have remembered my login details and I’m back and plan to post often or at least as often as i remember to.
life has been an adventure since my last post i never realized how much things can change.
I’ve lost friends and family even gained new amazing people in my life lost a few animals and gained some as well.
I have started a degree and I’m moving forward with my dreams and life I have removed a lot of the negativity from my mind and the people who caused it.
I have big plans for my blog i am keeping my personal one for my ramblings and thoughts but i plan to start a new page as well for my experiences and helping others who have been in similar situations to myself as i love helping people names will be changed for private confidentiality reasons but i wish to share my advice and i am also planning to write articles on things i have discovered like online dating and the quirks and truths about them.
social media and what it has become to us today as a society i hope to hear from you all soon and hope you enjoy my writings as much as i love to express them.
xoxoxoxox princess rae rae
I’ve been thinking over the last few days and I have come up with some very good qoutes.I don’t know if they have been used before but here goes.
“people change memories don’t just because you knew someone doesn’t mean you know them now”
“There’s only so much hurt one can take before they break and say goodbye forever”
I’m almost at that point with someone I love and will always care for them but there’s only so much i can take, the biggest question is can i find the strength to walk away from them and not give in. I will stick it out for a little longer and then make a decision to stay or walk away. As much as I want to stay in there life and have them be in mine it’s getting so hard to keep telling my self lies, it will be okay they won’t break there promise. With all that’s happened in the last month and a bit I just don’t know who to trust anymore.
Everynight before I sleep I look to the heavens and ask for guidence but even then i still feel so lost and alone. I just want to love someone and be loved in return. now for a good qoute from a good movie moulin rogue.
“The greatest thing you’ll learn is to love and be loved in return”
It hurts seeing people you love and care for getting hurt by people they love.
i see this everyday almost and it kills me knowing that there is nothing i can do to help them, all i can do is sit there and listen i guess that is helping them letting them talk about it.
so there was a guy i dated for a week then realized he wasn’t my type especially after asking some thing that u don’t ask a girl u have just asked to be your g/f
I miss cuddles so much especially on cold nights like this one, but we cant always have what we want i sometimes sit alone and wonder to much my mind is wondering to much stupid brain. At the end of the day I get by with what I have its them who’s missing out on a great person I know there is someone out there for me but its just not my time yet.
Im over looking for work and getting no response or sorry u have not been successful this time 😦 I swear i am ready to scream its that frustrating not working if i haven’t found a job by the end of this month i will just go back to studying again its something to do.
Adelaide is shit for jobs right now very dead and the jobs that are there want experience and yrs of it I’m ready to lie just to get a job and then hope i can keep up with the workload.
enough of my wahhh whahh whahh im off to bed its to early for this lol hope to write soon xxx
So its now 2013 wowww that came fast.
I have decided not to have a new years resolution as i never keep them so instead i have a plan and i hope i can make it happen.
My plan is to gain full time employment get personal training and go on lite and easy which is a healthier way of eating, i also plan to surprise a very dear friend who i haven’t seen in a very long time, I’ve been taking each step as it comes.
So Christmas for me was mostly spent being unwell due to getting the flu its not fun when its summer and you are sick, new years was good spent it with some friends. Had a guy ask me if i wanted a drink and i blew him off hahahahaha whoops ah well i don’t really care anymore
On another note I’m also missing someone and i don’t think they are going to keep there word anymore I’m sick of the lies but still i stay and listen because i still have feelings for them I just wish the feelings would stop guess they will stop when they do we rarely have control over those things anyway grrrrrrr i have also been single for 12 months now and it has helped me a lot to get my self loving me for me. Yes there are still a few changes i want to make me a better person in my own eyes. Hopefully 2013 brings me something good after all 13 has been a lucky number for me
The photo i upload today is of me and my beautiful nephew. Who is 5 weeks old.
i have so many thoughts running through my head I’m over being alone at night but that’s another post that will come later today I want to focus on something else, Lately I just wanted to cry and not stop and it’s not just because of my lonely little life. I look at this beautiful baby boy and think in five yrs time he will be going to school and making friends, growing up.
But for some children that will never happen now may all the innocent lives lost last week in America rest in peace it makes me so sad, it’s so close to Christmas and some family’s will be mourning the loss of their children brothers and sisters my heart thoughts and prayers are with them all in such a tough time. I cannot imagine the pain these people would be suffering but looking in to this baby’s eyes I see brightness and love and sometimes wonder what it would be like not to have such a bright light in our lives anymore.
I did plan on writing good things in this post but thought it could come another time this was a more pressing subject on my mind.
What are we as humans becoming? Monsters is what we are slowly becoming.
This is regarding a pervious post that i only just manged to restore as i thought i had lost it for good.
So I still seem to be having no end of luck with love and men, sometimes i think its me that im doing something wrong and thats when i realized i have to stop been so easy when it comes to sex. I have to make them work for me.
So i met a guy through a friend of the family he was really nice sweet caring and charming,
I felt something with him that i havent felt in a long time. I realized i really liked him after spending the night with him just drinking and talking but then i made a mistake when we stayed at the hotel i slept with him 😦 the next morning we woke up and i found out i was an aunty so we left the hotel grabbed some food and he dropped me off at the hospital so i could meet my nephew/godson. I spent the whole day at the hospital with my little sister i texted this guy we chatted for a bit then stopped. the next day was the christmas pagent and i decided to go it had been awhile since the last time i had been, i also brought my godson he’s frist ballon animal. so i messaged this guy again while i was at the hospital and again we chatted for a bit.
So it was now a sunday and i decided not to txt him on this day and left it until the monday to tx him and say hello how are you? i got no reply. I just thought that maybe he was busy a few days passed and i tried again still no reply, thats when i thought to give up and stop looking for love and all that crap and focus on my studies. I was doing great in my course almost completed everything when just last wednesday as i finished class for the day heading out to go home i see him the guy i liked so much, i took a risk and called out to him he stopped and he talked to me for a bit he told me that he had been flat out and had been having a few rough weeks and that he never intended for us to be a 1 night stand and that he was really sorry he would call me as soon as he got credit for his phone.
I still havent recevied anything from him i seen him again today and i was all hyped up on energy drink bouncing around lol i called out saying hello and he said hi one sec so i waited for a bit but he never came and talked to me so i left tafe for the day and got a sinking feeling that maybe it just isnt worth it but i still like him and find him so atracttive. So i went to the one person i trust with male advice and he suggested that i leave it be and see what happens and maybe after a few weeks i try contacting him again and if he doesnt reply then give up and start the search again or just go back with him when he becomes single again lmao.
on another note im worried about a good friend of mine who is struggling i wish there was a way i could help her and hold her tell her that everything is going to be alright, but i cant all i can do is say if you need to talk im here for you no matter the time of day you can call me at 4 am and i would still answer and listen cause i love you always and forever to the end.
Until next time peeps
keep safe xoxox
We all want something in the end. Weather it be someone to come home to and love us and love them. A good bottle of alcohol to drown our sorrows and pain, human company at the end of a hard day. There are even people our there who wish death didn’t exist theres always something we humans want but we can’t alway have what we want In life we have to take the good with the bad and make the best of what we have.
These past few days I haven’t been feeling my self and I don’t know why??? I need to find myself and the answers I seek soon 😦 I feel like I’m losing a part of me and I don’t know what I can do to save it.
So the last few months I’ve been studying business it’s so much fun. I have given up on finding love no more Internet dating sites there all after the same thing sex! It’s really annoying too. So my last post was about my heart been broken and did I really want to fix it the answer is that I’m still unsure as for my ex/ friend we started talking again he explained why he had to cut all ties for awhile there and I understood that. It’s good having him there for support I can go to him for all male advice. I love our talks we are so honest with each other. I found a guy I thought I could have called a bf too but he turned out like all the rest a jerk 😦 so now I’m focusing on my studies and finding a better job in Admin and of course also focusing on my friends and family and getting healthy 🙂 xxxx
P.s also posting some poems up 🙂
Last time I felt like this was when I broke up with my ex.
We tried being friends and it worked, there is a but tho we had to hide our friendship from his current girlfriend. We texted when we could and even seen each other. That’s when it went bad we slept with each other 😦 my feelings came rushing back but I ignored them all very well. We had been seeing and texting each other for the last 6+ months. He started telling me he missed me and that his relationship was on the rocks. He reeled me in made me feel for him again and then he cut the line that’s when I realized my heart is truly broken not having him in my life at all hurts 😦 What upsets me most is he said I was his best friend and that he would always be there for me guess that was a big fat lie. What made him do it I’m not 100% sure but I do know his g/f went to a psychic and they told her that he was missing and texting a ex that would be me. I gave him some advice and now he’s quit his job which was perfect for him and cut all lines with me so I guess he made his decision her I’m happy that he found someone he must truly love. One day I hope to find another I can trust and love call mine but I know it’s going to take a long time to open up again. My heart is in pieces and I’m not sure it I really want to pick them up and repair it